Sane again?

Last night I had no support. I felt lost. Dissuasions, lack of funds, academic grades, personality?? No one thought I could do it.

Today, two new people gave me hope. Thanks for believing in me Alina, and thanks Vann for letting me know that you share the same thoughts/dilemma about going. At least I no longer feel alone. At least I will try harder even if its going to seem impossible.

For now, I gotta up my grades :)

Can I hope for change???

Or is this gonna go down the drain in future..?

Will it be difficult to achieve the change I anticipate (from you??)..

Need somebody to talk to :(

What I need..

is someone who loves me for who I am not who I should be
is someone who loves the people I love
is someone whom I’m comfortable to be around, being me (uhh?)
is someone who believes and respects the things I do
there’s more but..

currently, there is no one like that.

I need to do more fun things like that!!!

HAHAHAHA I cannot disclose what I did but anw, I do need more rest before trying out stunts like that again :P

Where to next? Who’s next?! :p Funfunfun!

Food in BKK is yums!!! (delectable/scrumptious) – bf doesnt like me to use “YUMS” maybe cos XX uses it too :/

What I like most about taking bus rides..

In particular, rides between Parkway Parade & home..

It makes me really happy to look at the houses along the route.. Makes me dream and feel inspired to build my own.. and live happily in it.. (:

On a separate note, my Lauress haul is here! They gave me a free foundation sample though I kinda request to have it swapped.. But thanks anyway!! :) Will post pictures soon too!

I has a haul :D

An EarthenGlow Minerals haul!!! Will post it up later.. Just foundie colours in Medium-light and the virgin olive oil makeup remover :)

And I just ordered Silk Naturals too!! <33

Listen to Paramore’s Turn It Off.. It’s quite a nice song ^^

It had been easy..

to contain my feelings, good and bad, for the past few months. But today, right now, I’m really angry and miserable..

Knowing I can’t laugh, or that laughing is difficult, you still make me laugh..

Knowing that I hate certain actions or inactions of yours, you still don’t change..

If you don’t appreciate that I’ve changed (albeit a little only) to suit your needs, I can always revert.

Though we try not to make promises that cannot be kept unbroken, please don’t RE-MAKE them because it makes me tired of listening..

School’s starting but so what? I reckon there won’t be much of a difference.. There has been a decline since.. To me, you’re no longer there. And so, is it possible that we are still friends?

It quizzes me..

Times like this, I wish I weren’t born..

Wish I have more skills.
More contribution.
More achievement.
More satisfaction..
More life.

I’m not good enough, for myself, for anyone else.. It’s a really weird feeling. I have dreams but am not passionately working towards them. I compare my life with others out there.. Mine just feels so empty.. so empty that I think I know the reason..

It hasn’t started.

:D

I had durian for lunch today, and possibly dinner too!

But supper was good. Started cooking at 11pm and by 11.20pm WALAAAA pasta carbonara :D! Bf and i loved it woots!!!

MUST COOK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

since i duno what to blog anymore cos..

my purpose of blogging has changed abit..

i shall blog my nails!! omg colours =) love kaleidoscope him out! here’s how it looks =)

Sorry that it’s blurred.. I took it from a phone =/ I super love blues!! Ahh.. even blue-reds… Thank goodness I got rid of “sweet as annie-thing”.. didn’t really like the gold flecks in the red :/

I’m wearing “little red wagon” over “french bordeaux” – both reds, now.. Will take a picture of them and post iffff they remain intact after 2 days of work starting tmr =)

night!